We're not in Kansas anymore

Happy 1 month and 4 days!!!! (Yes, it's been over a month since Ant and I left the comforts of home!!!)

So, Ant and I have crossed the border. No, not the Taco Bell border (shout out to Pooj and Kisa!), but the Argentine border to Bolivia, the country of superlatives. Bolivia is apparently the hemisphere's highest, poorest, coldest, warmest, windiest, steamiest, richest in natural resources, most indigenous, most isolated, most rugged country...(Thank you, Lonely Planet).

I have to admit, I've had a couple of rough days in the past month. Days where I've cursed everything South American: the graffiti on all the walls, the stray dogs that won't leave me alone, the constant smell of petrol and sewage, the way drivers NEVER stop at stop signs and constantly try to run me over when I attempt to cross the street (and no, I'm not jaywalking. I actually follow the crosswalk signs here!), the hosteling and the fact that I'm sleeping in beds that probably haven't been cleaned in decades (dude, just look at Ant's previous posts!!!), the quizzical looks I get every time I speak Spanish (I think I should just give up already), the hissing from men on the streets (no, that is NOT an acceptable way to get my attention and no, I will not go home with you!), but especially, the cuisine (I know, we're starting to sound like a broken record regarding this)...but my gah, give me some BBQ sauce and hot sauce, PLEASE!

Sorry, sometimes a girl just has to rant...=)

But those days have been far and few in between. I think the count is actually 2. Well, Ant says it's been probably 4 but whatever, who's counting?! RARGH. Life down here is so relaxed and carefree compared to the daily grind of work (HA HA to all you cube monkeys!!!) and I know I'll desperately want to pack up my bags and hit the road again when I return to reality in a month. But until then, like Ant always says, "C'est la vie!"

We've tried to be rather rugged these days...well, at least since Cordoba (my fave city in South America although Sucre gave it a run for its money) where we decided to climb to the summit of Cerro Pan de Azucar with our new best friend of the day, Dan (about 1250m, roughly 4100ft----and someone please explain to me why we are still on the English system of measurement!). Needless to say, I thought my heart and lungs were going to explode. At points, I was even tempted to trip the little 10-year-old Argentine kids who were running and jumping oh so fast up and down the trail, making me feel like an obese A-mur-ican who in twenty years will develop chronic heart problems and Type II diabetes. My response to those who think all Americans subsist on Big Macs and French fries (we've dropped the whole Freedom fries silliness, right?), the Frenchies across the ocean are climbing up the weight scale. Take that, red wine and baguettes!

After ziplining and parasailing through Salta, the next most obvious ''rugged'' adventure had to be traversing the mountainous terrain of Bolivia in a 4WD jeep over bumpy, dusty and unpaved roads with three smelly boys for 4days/3nights. DUH. I referred to us as the ''Lame Tour'' since we were the only group who refused half the time to get out of the jeep to look at and take pictures of the lagoons, flamingos, geysers and crazy rock structures (featured in many of Dali's paintings) for fear of frostbite. Don't judge us!!! =) We did manage to get out of the jeep twice to be ''rugged'' though---once to change a flat tire and another time to push the jeep out of the snow. Snow! In the summer. Wtf.

And because of Ben (the American), I've picked up grunting like a boy. Papa would be so proud.

Note to the wise: Do NOT attempt to drink 8 bottles of wine between 5 people when you're at 5000m above sea level. You might end up like Roddy (the Scotsman) at 3am in the morning, crawling on all fours as he searched in the dark for a ''torch'' (''flashlight'' for all you normal English speakers. Haha. I kid) to go vomit in the outhouse in -4 degrees Celsius. I'm sure it was a combination of mostly altitude sickness, with a side of too much boozin and sketchy Bolivian vegetation...but I was convinced not to touch anything that wasn't cooked for the remainder of the trip. Call me a spoiled American brat, but I wasn't going to be hugging any dirty toilets in the dark by myself! There are monsters and GHOSTS out there!

Like Iguazu Falls, I'm going to let the pictures do the talking for the awesomeness that was Salar de Uyuni.

Since my only impression of Bolivia thus far had been through a dirty backseat window of a jeep, I thought ALL of Bolivia consisted of only cacti, llamas, bowler hats (dude, the women here love those bowler hats! I actually can't bear to look at them at night because the sight of them conjures up images of hunched-back murderers in my head), mountains, dust, dust and dust. Imagine my pleasant surprise when, after saying goodbye to our guides, Jaime (who scared the beejesus out of us by falling asleep at the wheel twice in one morning) and Ely (who probably thinks we're the most immature 27, 26, 24, 23 and 22-year-olds EVER, esp after the constant kiss-y noises we kept making at them. And no, they definitely were NOT dating), I looked around me and saw PAVED roads and pubs (oh yes, PUBS which played awesomely bad pop songs!) in Uyuni.

I will never again diss the mountain roads from California to Lake Tahoe. NEVER AGAIN. Mark my words.

The only tourist attraction that we visisted in Uyuni was a Bostonian-owned pizza parlor, Minuteman Pizza. Between the 5 of us, we managed to finish off 3 large (think regular American-sized large) pizzas. We even took 2 huge chocolate chip cookies to-go as we ran to catch our bus to Sucre. I felt like such a brat ohhing and ahhing over food that was as far tasting from South American cuisine as possible. Cualquiera.

Oh the luxury, the decadence.

And since we've become millionaires after crossing the Argentine/Bolivian border (our gringo lunches cost about $3USD total), Ant and I decided to splurge and stayed in our OWN room with our very own private bathroom and TV in Sucre. Bolivia gave us cable TV but no toilet paper. You can watch movies in English with Spanish subtitles but TP definitely NOT included in rooms!!!!!

Also, the stray dogs on the streets that Ant and I always befriend have been replaced by stray pigs here.

Welcome to Bolivia.

I'm so rugged,
Jess

Next adventure, THE AMAZON!!!!! =)