As a part of my family planning elective, I spend two afternoons a week at the Grady Teen Clinic. Every patient is assigned to a counselor and is taken care of by a multi-disciplinary team: doctors, mid-level providers, psychologists and social workers. It's a great resource for adolescents - both male and female - who want to take ownership of their reproductive health and it's a safe place for them to come to when they have problems. I've heard stories of sexual trauma, emotional trauma, neglect, and domestic violence. Grady may be a resource-poor hospital but it's a wealth of complicated personal histories.
But at the end of the day, they're also just teenagers. They talk about boys. And about each other. And they're constantly texting on their cell phones.
One afternoon, Tanesha* came into the exam room with her cousin, who was sporting bright red streaks in her hair. They were both 16. As I talked to Tanesha, asking about her sexual history and what she knew about birth control, I noticed she and her cousin were wearing matching black skirts.
"Hey girls, what's up with the tutus?"
"It's for our friend Jay.* She died last week."
"That's horrible. I'm so sorry. What happened?"
I maintained my composure, but internally, I felt alarms going off and a tight knot already forming in my stomach.
"Her baby daddy shot her in the head. They got into some stupid fight and he started calling her names, pulled out a gun and shot her. She was three months pregnant too. I mean, she shouldn't have been talking mess but he could've just hit her or something. She didn't deserve to be shot and killed like that. You may have met her. She's been coming to this clinic too."
Tanesha relayed this information matter-of-factly and promptly whipped out her cell phone to show me pictures of Jay, who apparently had a penchant for bright red hair and tutus. Her friends were paying homage to her in their own way. When I later poked my head into the waiting area, I noticed a few others in black tutus.
During that clinic visit, we talked about the importance of personal safety and appropriate behavior in relationships. But I'm not sure if my words fell on deaf ears or not. They were listening to me but also appeared accepting of their young friend's fate.
How could my words possibly return innocence lost?
*names and personal information have been changed to protect privacy of patients
